JAANE KYAA DHUNDTA HAI YEH MERA DIL, TUJHKO KYAA CHAHIYE JINDAGI.....
Heard this song long back. Not sure who else has asked this question before, but at this stage of life I certainly do.
Life always rolls on track. Many a times you choose, many a times you dont. As a child I always dreamt of taking center stage. There were many things at hand to do in simple day to day life. There were many unknowns too. Most of the jobs were done by will and not by obligation. I thought I was chosing track. Now, when I see it, I feel, there werent any options then, so an obligation too felt like a choice.
Time has changed. The options are clearer and I see myself stranded in a donkey race. Wonder if everyone out there is moving on his chosen track but just to keep myself moving, apparently, I am forced to roll on some track or the other. Being true to myself I realised it pretty soon that the track isnt the right one. Very much as I would have liked, very much as people would adore but it just aint my track. I probably may not be far too away from the one, but I surely am following a wrong one.
At times like this, when I take out time and peep in my mirror, I get the courage to face truth. Not that I am submerged in plethora of thoughts all winding up to create an unsolvable mystery, I just am curious to know, where is the one I am looking for. The mundane life, which people around, term as part of social life is not something which suites me. The inner voice of mine still says, I am not too different from them but a tinge different, YES. And the curiosity increases there. The belief of doing it right is missing. The faith of doing it is missing.
But interesting fact is, people love me, doing obligations. Well, sorry but the mundane stuff is more like an obligation than anything else. And ironically, I get praised doing something which I dont like to. There is this word FORMALITY, which is pretty close to the meaning of obligation in my dictionary. There are huge stories built in and around this word. There is a huge list of behavioural patterns built around it, following which probably we would forget who we are J. But yes, its the word of the world. Accidently, I do slip on to the track carrying the world with its the word and yes I have a great time there. Wonder, thats what makes human, HUMAN. Animals wont do formailities. You wont expect a Lion asking his fellow why dont u start munching the prey first. He surely would fight to do it first.
So coming back to search, think I need to find the missing block which would make me another one of the world. How would I do that is still a mystery but yes moving ahead this is something which I surely would do. The answer could possibly be CHANGE. There could be a lot of track changes which will keep the variety of life living. The answer could very well be a REDEFINITION. There could be a non mundane way to live life.
No matter where the answer lies, but I shall keep striving to find out the right one for me. Afterall, cant sing the same song for long time...
